Today I will tell you a Secret...

I was on the bus the other day, staring at the scenery zooming past, scenery so familiar I could tell if a leaf had fallen from a tree. That is usually more interesting than staring at the other people in the bus, because staring at other people generally exhibits animalistic instincts like attraction or disgust.

Let's face it, the only reasons we continuously stare at someone are that she has face/boobs/legs/butt that look like angel/watermelons/stilts/baboons' respectively or she has face/boobs/legs/butt that look like monster/brinjals/trotters/buses.

How often have you thought to yourself 'This thing is so ugly it's bewildering...I must find out why it's so ugly (and continue staring at it)!'. Never? Well watch this video

Anyway, none of these things happened on the bus, but just as I was minding my own business, there was some mind-thumping music. the IQ-decreasing kind that makes parents cover the ears of their children. Now who is that inconsiderate son a of bitch. You know how is it with stereotypes, and already in that few seconds, the image formed in my head of a guy in skinny jeans and possibly a tattoo or two. with a rotten attitude. and the stupid handphone blasting crap. I got ready my parang. It was going to be a hard fight.

And my jaw dropped when I realised there was no douchebag with a phone. The source of the retarded music was a demure Malay girl. And there was no phone. She was wearing earphones.

Now, being able to listen to music from someone else's earphones is not a new phenomenon. In fact, I did the same thing one time on a bus, when some idiot sat next to me. I even had to demand that the idiot change a song because he was looping some chinese rock song to rock himself to sleep. He resisted, but after I told him I was Ip Man, he obediently complied with my orders.

But this Malay girl was different. She was special. After all, I was not sitting next to her. It was a single-decker bus with loud engine noise and all. I was standing at least 5 metres away. And yet I could hear every alphabet in the song (and no, it's not the alphabet song). She is a veritable shining beacon of light for those who want to be deaf. Maybe she is an alien trying to masquerade as one of our species, and failing miserably.

I do have another idea: it was all a prank designed to irritate. Enter the Speaker Earphones

See the sinister little holes at the back of the earphones? That is where the music is actually coming from. Here's how to use this baby:

Step 1 : Find some obnoxious music you know everyone will hate. (don't worry the earpieces act as earplugs for you)

Step 2: Get to a public place where there are lots of people piss off.

Step 3: Play the music on your speaker earphones.

Step 4: Shake leg and enjoy as most people feel like punching you, but reason that they don't want to since you are torturing yourself the most with the crap music. Meanwhile, you're enjoying the silence your earpieces provide.

Step 5: When the battery runs out, go home to charge and repeat from step 1.