This is partly about Tiger Woods. It is quite lag, but I read with interest as he checked into a sex rehabilitation centre, came out supposedly all cured, made a public apology that had more viewers than the World Cup, and he saves the $300 million that he would have lost on divorce. Sounds like a fairy tale.
While everyone was busy debating whether sex rehab actually works, Tiger was probably thinking, "Hmm, so which is more expensive, rehab or divorce? Such a tough question.-brain grinds-". And his mistress beside him in bed said, "Oooh I know, a divorce is more expensive!" Not that her maths is any more impressive, but she knew that once Tiger got a divorce, he wouldn't have to pay her to shut up anymore. Brilliant economics.
Why don't we just say that Tiger Woods is an asshole? Why bother with crap like sex addiction? Imagine you rob a bank, get caught (that's you not me i don't get caught), and you tell the judge "Your honour, I'm suffering from money addiction, that's why I robbed the bank". If I were the judge, I'd say "Yes, I totally understand, that's why I'm sending you to hell, then your relatives can burn all the hellnotes they want". Addiction solved. And I think it's still the death penalty in Singapore for armed robbery.
Look at John Terry. JT doesn't apologize for his actions. He doesn't say, "I'm addicted to sex." He's all "Sex? Hell yeah." For that, the public calls him an asshole. And his England captaincy was lost. Now he can't sell the captain's VIP seat anymore. But all is not lost. I'm always on the lookout for business opportunities, and this is a great one. Introducing, the Talk Cock Summit Rehab Centre for assholes....
...guaranteed to reform assholes. Maybe you'll be a dickhead, but definitely not an asshole. We'll even give a certificate that says, loudly and proudly, "No longer an asshole!" I suppose that's even more relevant in Singapore's certificate-obsessed society. If JT attends, he'll get back the captaincy in no time. Prices start from $1000 a day.
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