Love is like the ideal elastic; it doesn't break when it stretches, and when the stretching stops, it goes right back into shape

New year, old year, can you really tell the difference? Though I'm sure it does bring a windfall to commercial entities like buses, taxis and clubs. Why do we celebrate the new year? Maybe it's because we haven't actually accomplished anything worth celebrating ourselves, that's why we celebrate artificial things like that.

I was on my way home on the nightrider when I noticed it was actually quiet for once. The mobileTV showed "mobile tv will operate until december 31 2009, thank you for your support". Woohoo something to feel good about!

I'm sure I'll miss the just for laughs show and the taiwanese food shows, but they are no compensation for the inane shit that we have to put up with most of the time. If you aren't a snobbish rich kid who has never taken the bus before, then you've probably been forced to watch a local food show.

And you might have observed that the difference between local foodshow hosts (the ones shown on mobiletv anyway) and good foodshow hosts is that the local ones can't help but get an orgasm when they eat in front of the camera. Once the food is in the mouth, the moaning commences, x 10 the volume if the cook is watching. And the cooks aren't even sexy. And then the host's hand will do that stupid connoisseur motion of squeezing the thumb and index finger together, as if it helps with the orgasm, and when it is finally over, they will say, 'delicious', 'wow', or other forms of limited vocabulary cooked together with zero imagination. Of course, all they succeed in doing to me is to induce a vomit reflex.

And there are worse. There's one time where I watched a show with 3 female hosts (maybe 1 host 2 guests, whatever), so I had to vomit 3 times each time new food was introduced. What the fuck, when you have 3 tasters and 1 type of food, it's obvious the focus is on the people and not the food, so the people had better be chio, but they weren't, so the whole show was ruined.

Let's talk about drama serials next. I must admit that normally, I don't watch them on television, thus most of what I watch comes from mobiletv. Why do normal Singapore serials induce such unpleasant sensations in me? Ok just the tendency to turn away cos it's so bad. Once in a while, there's a serial that's good enough to be exported, but that means that if your life were serials, you would be in jail for 50 years of your 75-year life expectancy. I think I nailed the reason. They're mostly just plain unrealistic. I've never heard real families or people speak in the tone and language used in serials. The stuff the characters say when they get pissed off is just laughable most of the time. And then, when they try to mimic how Singaporeans really speak, they overdo it, but even that is a move in the right direction as it spawned Phua Chu Kang, which I have to admit is funny.

The award-winning ones like Little Nyonya are set in another time and it's more realistic that way because we did not live in that era and will be more flexible in accepting the language and setting of the time. happy new year!