hmm let's hope that the title isn't the most interesting part of the chapter.
So in any new working environment, the new guy would need time to fit in. Chances are that he's a decent bloke who wants to make a good impression, on his bosses, on the people around him. In the present age of high unemployment, such behaviour makes perfect sense, because unemployment looms menacingly. So that's what most nsfs do.
Except that it doesn't bring much benefit. Because bosses know that you're going to ord anyway. Because bosses don't really give a hoot about welfare unless it gets them into trouble. And because the sense of responsibility is sometimes a parasite that eats away at the soul.
But without a moral compass that is this article, most fail to maximise their time in ns.
The blabber above can be summarised in : Only the good feel guilty.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Chapter 1: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
This is going to be the start of a mini-series on ns life (well what other life do i have?). It's probably going to start in a chronological order, and end in total disorder. In fact there may be some repetition since i've already written on the Te Kong Delight in December last year, see http://talkcocksummit.blogspot.com/2008/12/holiday.html.
Let's start by talking about comfort. It's not something we can readily define. Is it picture-perfect like sipping champagne on a yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean? Or is it something as simple as eating a bag of potato chips? It's a real mystery. But being able to piss after the 10th water parade certainly felt quite comfortable. As did going home for a few hours after a week of abuse. It's really quite amazing what suffering one can put up with as long as it's in a group.
One of the starting phrases introduced is: GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
And my reply would be yea, as soon as you stick your finger up your ass permanently. That can't be very comfortable, and you would definitely leading by example. Not that I would necessarily follow. I think God meant for our rear ends to be one way streets outwards.
Thus, learning point 1: Don't ask me to get out of my comfort zone.
Another topic is leadership. This is a difficult thing to define, cos let's say I'm walking in front of a large crowd towards somewhere, maybe the toilet. Just as i reach the entrance i turn around and tell all those behind me, " Lo and behold, worship me, for i have led you to the promised land!" I'm quite sure the crowd would just shove me aside. Their full bladders were leading them to the toilet anyway, so i could not be the leader. If on the other hand, i make others do what they don't want to do, that is the mark of a true leader.
In the army, though, few are the places where the people are going anyway. The only thing everyone would automatically go for is book out, so doing anything else requires a leader, such as running through a forest with a heat rash on the back, and then waking up to do it again in the middle of the night.
Thus, learning point 2:
army produces leaders because there's so many opportunities to make people do what they do not want to do.
Let's start by talking about comfort. It's not something we can readily define. Is it picture-perfect like sipping champagne on a yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean? Or is it something as simple as eating a bag of potato chips? It's a real mystery. But being able to piss after the 10th water parade certainly felt quite comfortable. As did going home for a few hours after a week of abuse. It's really quite amazing what suffering one can put up with as long as it's in a group.
One of the starting phrases introduced is: GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
And my reply would be yea, as soon as you stick your finger up your ass permanently. That can't be very comfortable, and you would definitely leading by example. Not that I would necessarily follow. I think God meant for our rear ends to be one way streets outwards.
Thus, learning point 1: Don't ask me to get out of my comfort zone.
Another topic is leadership. This is a difficult thing to define, cos let's say I'm walking in front of a large crowd towards somewhere, maybe the toilet. Just as i reach the entrance i turn around and tell all those behind me, " Lo and behold, worship me, for i have led you to the promised land!" I'm quite sure the crowd would just shove me aside. Their full bladders were leading them to the toilet anyway, so i could not be the leader. If on the other hand, i make others do what they don't want to do, that is the mark of a true leader.
In the army, though, few are the places where the people are going anyway. The only thing everyone would automatically go for is book out, so doing anything else requires a leader, such as running through a forest with a heat rash on the back, and then waking up to do it again in the middle of the night.
Thus, learning point 2:
army produces leaders because there's so many opportunities to make people do what they do not want to do.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Car of thought
I don't like cars. I can't tell a Mercedes from a BMW, nor a Jaguar from a Lamborghini. To me, boasting about how fast your car can go is the same as boasting about how rich your parents are. Doesn't reflect anything and it doesn't impress me.
Doesn't make sense? Well this is talk cock summit. Get used to it noob!
Much as I don't like cars, I still have this male ego in me. Which means I like one-upmanship or at least, the feeling of being equal. I can't stand not having something everyone else has. Unless that thing is something which I think I don't want - which okay, doesn't make me very much of a one-upmanship sorta person.
But the driving licence is an exception. So when others have it I must have it too.
Recently I've started taking lessons - and in fact I've just finished one of those mind-numbing sessions where my instructor forces me to go round and round and round because my engine keeps fucking stalling one way or another. Either that or it bumps along.
I think I listen to too much of gold 90. I can't hear whatever he's saying anymore. But at this rate I'm never going to take my test.
Presenting to you the culprit: THE CLUTCH.
Of course you could say "dumb fuck, sign up for auto" but this male ego thing is really too overwhelming. At the expense of sounding like a chauvinist let's just say if the FEMALES (this ought to add to the chauvinist factor) can do MANUAL, I'd better be able to do it too.
Plus, everyone around me is taking manual. So why should I succumb to auto? This introduced me to the world of engine stalling. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so impressionable, but that's besides the point.
The point now is that most cars in Singapore are using auto. So far all my friends that pass their driving tests are using auto cars. Hence fucking manual is outdated. Which brings up to another new point - who invented the clutch?
It only makes sense that technology progresses forward, not backward. And if you were to represent the auto and manual cars mathematically:
Manual car = Clutch + Accelerator + Brake
Auto car = Accelerator + Brake
Hence, auto car is simpler and should be invented first. So who the fuck was the kanchiong spider that invented the manual first and caused the world so much trouble? By the fact the manual car was invented first, there are so many of them around and it's hard to get rid of a few millions of cars so I have to learn the manual way.
The auto car, on the other hand, is elegant and is now taking over the world. Its driving should not be unlike those in an arcade, with only two pedals. Sounds like my kind of stuff.
Fuck, if Daytona had a clutch pedal when you played manual, I guarantee you no one would be playing their silly racing games. And by the way, I always use auto to play Daytona. That gives you an impression of what a lazy bum I am.
So that aside, whoever invented cars must have been a very weird person. How can you possibly invent something one step ahead of a future invention? It's like inventing the handphone before the telephone - because by a simple mathematical equation:
Telephone: Communication ability
Handphone: Communication ability + Portability
Whoever invented the car jumped the queue, and now millions of people are paying the price for it when they take their manual lessons.
Okay fine I just suck at driving. Doggone it!
Doesn't make sense? Well this is talk cock summit. Get used to it noob!
Much as I don't like cars, I still have this male ego in me. Which means I like one-upmanship or at least, the feeling of being equal. I can't stand not having something everyone else has. Unless that thing is something which I think I don't want - which okay, doesn't make me very much of a one-upmanship sorta person.
But the driving licence is an exception. So when others have it I must have it too.
Recently I've started taking lessons - and in fact I've just finished one of those mind-numbing sessions where my instructor forces me to go round and round and round because my engine keeps fucking stalling one way or another. Either that or it bumps along.
I think I listen to too much of gold 90. I can't hear whatever he's saying anymore. But at this rate I'm never going to take my test.
Presenting to you the culprit: THE CLUTCH.
Of course you could say "dumb fuck, sign up for auto" but this male ego thing is really too overwhelming. At the expense of sounding like a chauvinist let's just say if the FEMALES (this ought to add to the chauvinist factor) can do MANUAL, I'd better be able to do it too.
Plus, everyone around me is taking manual. So why should I succumb to auto? This introduced me to the world of engine stalling. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so impressionable, but that's besides the point.
The point now is that most cars in Singapore are using auto. So far all my friends that pass their driving tests are using auto cars. Hence fucking manual is outdated. Which brings up to another new point - who invented the clutch?
It only makes sense that technology progresses forward, not backward. And if you were to represent the auto and manual cars mathematically:
Manual car = Clutch + Accelerator + Brake
Auto car = Accelerator + Brake
Hence, auto car is simpler and should be invented first. So who the fuck was the kanchiong spider that invented the manual first and caused the world so much trouble? By the fact the manual car was invented first, there are so many of them around and it's hard to get rid of a few millions of cars so I have to learn the manual way.
The auto car, on the other hand, is elegant and is now taking over the world. Its driving should not be unlike those in an arcade, with only two pedals. Sounds like my kind of stuff.
Fuck, if Daytona had a clutch pedal when you played manual, I guarantee you no one would be playing their silly racing games. And by the way, I always use auto to play Daytona. That gives you an impression of what a lazy bum I am.
So that aside, whoever invented cars must have been a very weird person. How can you possibly invent something one step ahead of a future invention? It's like inventing the handphone before the telephone - because by a simple mathematical equation:
Telephone: Communication ability
Handphone: Communication ability + Portability
Whoever invented the car jumped the queue, and now millions of people are paying the price for it when they take their manual lessons.
Okay fine I just suck at driving. Doggone it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
