Let's Kick Racism Out of Football

The term all-stars is getting boring, i thought all-blacks would be a greater success instead, just like in new zealand. Being an observer of the English Premiership League im going to give you a better understanding of the it. Racism is a problem in football. The blacks are usually those that are discriminated against. Thus, it is natural to form a whole team of black players to show that black players can play football as well and fight against racism. So, introducing the all-blacks! Playing the traditional 4-4-2.

In goal we have Shaka Hislop.







Unfortunately i don't know about him so skip that.

Left back: Ashley Cole

you know him right? so that saves me the trouble of loading the pic. He costs 5 million plus William Gallas (another black but since Cole costs more Gallas isn't here). 'best left back in the world' says someone. but actually i also can. If i run slower, then i just get left back right?

Centre back: Kolo Toure

You know him too. He's tall and good and blah blah blah. i just think it's a waste of energy to load pictures. He's good. No? Well too bad you gotta trust me on that.

Centre back: Joseph Yobo

He's good too, and i happen to like his name. I think it's really cool.

Left midfield: Emmanual Eboue

He's got a cool name too. plus he's fast and skilful.

Centre midfield:Michael Essien

This powerpack is worth 24million, which is like dunno how many hdb flats, and millions of cups of the iced tea sold at rjc.

Centre Midfield: Edgar Davids

This guy looks like he's going to bite the living crap out of you. They don't call him bulldog for nothing. Plus he wears these cool goggles.

Right midfield: Shaun Wright-Phillips

The fact that he's sitting on a bench somewhere (Chelsea?) doesn't mean anything. Ever heard of the Chinese idiom 不鸣则以一鸣惊人(might have a word wrong, sorry my chinese rusty). That means he can suddenly explode and become a super zai player. He also cost 24 million and that's proof of his quality.

Striker: Shaquille O'Neal

Peter Crouch has just proven that anyone who is very tall can score goals, so having Shaq here is natural.

Striker: Louis Saha

Another one with a cool name. Sahahahahahahaha!!

Manager: Michael Jackson

Turth be told, i don't know why i chose him. Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that he tried to turn white and it became a total disaster. Serves as an example for those who want to follow in his footsteps.

"In the name of some divine being, i command thee, racism, to get out of football!" and so goes the exorcism of racism.

Inspirational quote

"The smartest people quote themselves." - quote myself.

Biology tips part two

Today's quote is universal, it's for the world.

I trust you've heard it many times before. And I find great meaning in it. I find great pleasure in repeating it. Because when we all grow up we know that there's a little bit of playful childishness left in us. Although in some people it appears more evident than others.

Take me, for instance.

I want to be king and rule the world.

And anyhow, here's the quote: "HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!"

I feel younger already.

But that's not going to stop the Biology promos on Monday! So do kindly allow me to continue with my Biology tips. Even though we might stop and feel tempted to sing "sama sama maju ke hadapan", let us reserve it till after promos.

BIOLOGY BY YJ (PART 2)

Phylogeny is the classification of species based on their anatomies, embryological similarities as well as their molecular similarities - ie their internal structures and stuff. It's like grouping students according to how much they score for their Maths test.

Classification is based on mostly outermost appearances, and on certain common characteristics. It's like grouping students according to their looks. (which means it sucks and hence it's not worth learning)

Phylogenetic classification is a mixture of both. Cool!!

All living things 1) have a cellular organisation (we're all cells)
2) show metabolic activity (??)
3) grow and develop (??)
4) reproduce (or meiosise, or conjugate)
5) have a common heredity molecule/nucleic acids (??)
6) respond to stimuli (??)
7) adapt to the environment (ya right, why would people complain when they are put in an unfamiliar environment where life sucks eg RJC?)

An obligate parasite is an organism that will die without its host. It reminds me of a certain ex-classmate of mine, I shall not mention who.

There are three parts in a virus, the genome, the capsid and the envelope. All I know is that the capsid acts as a protein coat and thus the rest are kind of useless.

And like the Biology students studying for Biology, I suddenly feel a wave of fatigue overcome me. Already I can smell the freedom of tomorrow, the air of the end of promos. LIKE DUH I can smell it, because I've already smelt it.

Tomorrow YL will be liberated, and therefore I will not go on and on.

Final tips:
If you sleep early, tomorrow comes faster (psychologically, of course).
If tomorrow comes faster, the exam starts earlier.
If the exam starts earlier, it ends earlier.
Then you get promoted earlier.

My friends of H2 Biology, stop reading this shit and go and sleep.

Last minute mugging does not help.

May Lady Luck smile at you tomorrow, and let her provide the magical answers in your head. The world awaits with bated breath to celebrate the end of promos with you.

That's all. GO BIOLOGY STUDENTS!

(Joy is best shared, so I'd be truly happy tomorrow. No point having my happiness stifled as I watch my friends suffer zomg.)

To biology, with love

"Throw physic to the dogs" - one of the quotes from Macbeth or some other Lit book that I did in some point in time which I can't really remember so heck.

But anyway. Throw physic(s) to the dogs.

So you take Biology, then?

Okay! Biotech people are now highly favoured by the Singapore government, which I believe it's all thanks to the ageing population which asks for better healthcare and because Biopolis is right beside MOE headquarters. Hence they 耳濡目染 and love Biology so much.

500 students in RJC apparently love Biology that much, too. Let me therefore cater to this minority and post some Biology stuff. Or better yet for students in other JCs who haven't had their papers, they could have the privilege of getting MORE PRACTICE FOR PROMOS.

And RJC's Econs Section A, Chemistry MCQ and Mathematics 2006 promos papers are up for sale. I want to get them out of my sight so anyone interested can email me.

This time, my tips for Biology are going to be more serious. Not like the other time where I said osmosis will lead you to being smarter and sleeping on top of your Bio notes. You could try that in your sleep. Today, I will attempt to find the crux of Biology and present it all to you. Just by attending a few lectures, I believe I have gained adequate knowledge to whack the Biology paper and tyco an S. (Like I said many times before, ace students get lost you don't belong here.)

Here's all that I learnt for Bio. Quite obviously it isn't to be taken seriously. And if you really decide to use these definitions in your Bio test, it's not my bloody fault if you don't promote. Accuracy is not my key concern, luck is.

NOW. Here we really go.

BIOLOGY BY YJ

Conjugation basically means bacteria sex. If you haven't showered for very long and you have bacteria all over you, then perhaps you can be considered bacteria. You will not be allowed to say "I want to have sex", because as a bacteria you should say, "I want to conjugate."

General bacterial structure refers to what these conjugators are made up of. There are many parts to a bacteria, namely the cell membrane, cell wall, capsule/slime layer, 70S ribosome, the storage granule, flagellum, pilus, plasmid, cytoplasm, nucleoid region and I don't really know what they all are for.

Eukaryotes are species with more than 1 chromosome in their bodies. Bacteria has only 1 chromosome, while humans have 46. Therefore humans are eukaryotes and I think that's part of phylogeny.

Bacterial chromosomes are not enclosed by membrane. They only are associated with small amounts of protein. Think of it as a human going naked and wearing minimal clothing.

Eukaryotic chromosomes are enclosed by membrane. They have large amounts of proteins. Means that probably you find these chromosomes in winter and they must be feeling really cold.

Binary fission is the process where circular bacterial chromosome replicates. If you see a useless friend of yours who keeps failing tests passing motion in the toilet (which I seriously hope you don't because it's gross to see others doing their business).. you could also consider that binary fission.

Meiosis is actually sexual reproduction. Anyone with sexual desires could be said to be wanting to meiosise. There is variation and this is actually advantageous in the sense that species which meiosise can adapt to their environment. Like how we don't have polar bears in Singapore.

Genetic recombination in bacteria is where you find that the resultant cell in the bacteria is a recombinant. Wow. You didn't know that.

I will post up part two tomorrow because even though last-minute mugging does not work, last-day mugging might. And you probably cannot absorb that much in a day.

I hope this helps. =)

All the world's a pitch

"I figure I might have better chances being promoted in a workplace than here."

Okay, okay, so the Phuture Physicists have all finished their papers. Let me talk a little Physics here so as to be on the same WAVELENGTH as them. As the promos (sadly?) draw to a close and as more and more people take to the streets screaming like insane fags because they're done with promos.. let us take an interesting analogy to find out what promos is truly all about.

Being a passionate soccer fan (sometimes), I say all the world's a pitch!

Soccer pitch. Why so?

Because during promos, mugging gets tough and reaches FEVER PITCH.

Okay besides that.

Don't you notice it's in line with the promotion-relegation system in soccer? Well I wanted to post about this yesterday right after my papers but heck, since newspapers only publish soccer results the next day, I thought I might as well do the same so as to give a sense of realism.

Here's just a little soccer article, proudly brought to you by TCS. After the World Cup soccer results in June, I figured we needed a little deviation.

THE TALK COCK TRIBUNE

TEAM YJ SECURES PROMOTION TO PREMIERSHIP!

BISHAN - After a highly scintillating match against the likes of the all-star Chemistry team, Team YJ managed to secure promotion to the Premiership by playing to a draw. Teams in the Championship are promoted on a lenient basis - for they are asked to play four matches and one friendly, the friendly being against the n00b GP team which usually poses no threat at all.

After warming up on Monday with the friendly against GP, which Team YJ comfortably put two goals past the poor sods, they lost the second match against Econs as the players from Team YJ couldn't decide which goal to score at. (I switched to another essay question with 10 minutes left, gg myself.)

Criteria to be promoted from the Championship (J1) to the Premiership (J2) means you have to win at least one match (ie get E) and have at least two draws (two Ss). As long as you have five points from any of these four matches, you have a point AND a case to be promoted. Think of it this way, if you get five points in any combination, you'd seriously get promoted. Any grade from A to E is 3 points, S is worth 1 point, U is 0.

Team YJ started off the third day of the campaign rather brightly by securing an easy win over the Mathematics team, who fielded only ten players. Their starting lineup included Functions, Graphing, Inequality, Differentiation, Integration, Differential, Progression, Summation, Binominal and Power. Needless to say their star keeper, Logarithm (Chapter 0) did not want to come out to the pitch to play, so Team YJ was spared the agony of being denied a great victory against the Mathematics team.

However, the French team they played on Wednesday afternoon yielded no positive result, for the hardcore players were certainly out to damage - and they did. It is also noted that Team YL, who played the same team that afternoon, also got owned. The third day of the team's promotion campaign was then seriously in doubt - for after three games (excluding GP), they had only three points secured from Mathematics, with Chemistry still hanging in the balance.

It is no secret that Chemistry has always been a squad that Team YJ fears, for they got whooped soundly by the Chemistry team 9-0 back in June, and frequent thrashings in the lecture test (0-8 in September) as well as revision papers (0-8 again) indicated that Team YJ was hardly ready to play Chemistry.

Still, up against the Chemistry team, Team YJ's manager, also happened to be called YJ, decided to employ a new tactic, the 4-4-2. Considering that the Chemistry paper was also 4-4-2 (Section C, 40 marks, Section B, 40 marks, Section A, 20 marks), he successfully countered their strike force. Unlike the usual times where YJ would play a 2-4-4 agains them (ie starting with Section A, MCQ and taking a bloody long time to finish it), he decided to take down the midfield first.

Then the Chemistry backline of four. After breaching their defence, YJ then tried to stop their 2-man strikeforce. He took half an hour to do it. It must also be known that promotion matches usually are long-lasting and the players are required to have lots of stamina. The warm-up GP match had two halves of one and a half hours, so it didn't really matter.

For matches against the Mathematics and Chemistry teams, the opposition were required to report at outrageous times like 8am in the morning, although the matches won't start till 8:15am. Somehow the crowd wants to see both teams' lineups before the match actually starts proper. Now that's quite lame and stupid. But what is more lame and stupid is that each match lasts three hours, a veritable test of stamina and guts.

Well, and Team YJ, for all their endurance and determination, managed to pull off a draw against the Chemistry team. In the afternoon session against the French team (again yes), the lousy referee (invigilator) gave YJ the advantage by giving instructions in English, a language that Team YJ favoured and which the French team did not understand. The referee sometimes is indeed very important in every match, though YJ (manager) got a yellow card for trying to be smart aleck by arguing with the referee (aka dissent - I asked if I could write essay in pencil, since they didn't allow correction fluid -.-")

Have you ever heard of not using correction fluid in an exam? That's like saying you're playing a soccer match where boots are prohibited. Anyway despite not knowing who the players of the opposition were - as well as having almost zero knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses (ie I didn't understand any bloody essay question), Team YJ just anyhow double-marked one of their players tightly. And at the end of it, Talk Cock Tribune reckons it'll pay off.

Plus, as results against the French team are taken by aggregate score (which YJ won quite a few spectacular battles, particularly in the very verbal game where Team YJ whooped the Frenchies 5-0), YJ is confident of securing three points here. And thus when the match ended yesterday against the French, the team was jubilant in celebrating promotion with seven points in the bag out of a possible twelve.

All the world's a pitch - with some getting promoted earlier than others. Some teams, fresh from the GEP League, have secured promotion as early as Wednesday, after gaining six points from two matches. They are wanting to top the Championship "for fun". As for the rest who might not make five points, don't worry or be disheartened, for like the English football leagues, there are always the playoffs (appeals).

For Team YJ and their manager, they are ecstatic and wish to celebrate their promotion the whole weekend long. Understanding that certain teams are yet to play their last, vital match against the rather strong team of Biology, I will reduce the distraction level by blogging less this weekend. You can call me lazy, but at least I'd be playing in the Premiership next season.

As the team's manager, who wishes only to be known as YJ, says, "I'm ducking glad to be promoted, man. Even if it's on the last day, it took a lot of effort, consistency and hard work that got me here. I totally deserved the wins against Maths and French as well as that hard-fought draw against Chemistry. Now it's time for a very long post-season party." Yes indeed.

Table benzene

"Life's too short to be mugging all the time." - adapted and modified from American History X.

Fatigue is setting in, especially since we're done with Chemistry (hurray). Some will have their promos already ended by today, but we should spare a thought for those who haven't finished theirs.

BECAUSE YH, YL AND I STILL HAVE PAPERS TOMORROW.

Anyway, after proceeding to a hawker centre to eat after completing what was arguably the toughest paper for promos by far (and it will probably remain that way), I noticed something very remarkable. It's nothing short of a phenomenon that I felt I had to blog about it.


For the uninitiated (ie for those who don't take Chem and know nuts about it), this is your typical benzene ring.

And for the really uninitiated, I'm not going to try to initiate you in case you suddenly perform free radical substitution on the benzene ring. Then it'd become an aliphatic alkane but for those who are really uninitiated you won't get this anyway.

SO OKAY FORGET WHAT I SAID. I KNOW I CAN GET A BIT MAD WITH CHEMISTRY CONCEPTS AT TIMES.

Basically, I found out that tables at a hawker centre really are like benzene rings. That is because there are six seats around the table, and the theory behind it is quite intriguing.

For example, if the person that sits down at any position, he/she will automatically be number 1 as no one else is eating at the table. If the person is very generous (like electron donating groups in benzene rings), then he/she will be well-liked, and chances are the next person that sits next to him/her will sit next to him/her to be close to the person. So chances are he/she will pay for everyone.

Cunning ploy. Or usually when such a generous, qualified person sits down, the next guy who wants to sit down will sit opposite him/her so he/she can stare wistfully into the person's eyes. And then, of course, hope that he/she pays for the food. But like I mentioned, if the guy is already electron-donating by nature there's nothing much to worry about. That's your 2,4-directing.

However if you get a miser sitting at the table, the next person who sits would probably only be sitting because there's no other place in the hawker centre. However, he/she will try to avoid eye contact with this total stranger who just wants to eat his food and keep it all way from you. This, my friend, is the electron-withdrawing group.

They are 3,5-directing and will cause the next guy to sit in the 3 or 5 positions.

If you don't get what I mean by these numbers, basically (yes not acidically) wherever the first guy sits is labelled one. Then you count clockwise and number the seats off 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. You will find that this theory is generally true.

So when the Chem teachers say that Chemistry has real-life applications, they are right in a sense.

Just head down to your nearest hawker centre, you'll find my theory proven. And if you still don't know the numbering system, you are really a dork and no I'm not going to upload a picture of it because it's seriously fundamental. Though I understand graphical representation might be in want for Arts students, you must understand I don't want to talk so much about Chemistry anymore.

Because it's finally over and yay that's that.

Those who still can't get it, go ask a Chemistry student.

I'm sure they'd be glad to explain it to you, table benzene at work.

Mathematical irony and Chemistry progressions

"In life, you must have a focus. But you don't necessarily need to have a vertex, and hence Mathematics is quite pointless."

You must be thankful that I posted this after Maths promos, otherwise after this quote you might not be motivated to study for the silly subject anymore.

Anyway, YL gave me the ultimate motivation today while I was gearing up for Chemistry.

(Background: I was doing Chemistry Revision Papers, not of my own accord, but rather because my teacher gave 'em out and uh, I have the June holiday revisions, September holiday revisions and past year CTs ALL NICE AND CLEAN. So I started doing some MCQs, arguably the easiest part because you can still rely on luck.)

YJ (me) - Okay I'm going to check my answers.
*flips to the back to check*
YJ - wth?! ALL WRONG?
*double checks*
YJ - ####! (mugging causes stress) THIS CANNOT BE! I think the answers are printed wrongly. (self-denial as usual, but oh well)
YL - Let me try to see why you're wrong.
*then the n00b took a bloody long time to figure it out while scribbling all over my paper and quite obviously, being chem cocksters, he didn't get any answer whatsoever*
..and if you know YL well for the bugger he is, he refused to give up -.-"
YJ - Eh enough la! You're wasting my time. MY TIME IS MONEY. I NEED TO MUG, DAMMIT.
YL - "You're not mugging, you're making mistakes."

Ouch, ultimate killer blow.

Hence concludes the two-part post for today.

Irony (Fe-y) in Mathematics and progression (I wish) in Chemistry.

Inter-disciplinary work, though our discipline is not only questionable, but interrogatable. Therefore don't be too happy you are doing inter-disciplinary work, it means you have interrogatable discipline. Well, if mine even exists.

Of rationality and mathematics

"I am highly irrational, and thus I can understand the concept of irrational numbers better than I can for rational numbers."

Economic concepts?

"Mugging is the act of taking away someone's money by force."

As NDP dictates, let us ignore the Econs paper.

Just know that mugging is a crime.



Do you suppose the little feline has money?!

Post-mortem

"General Paper is merely warm up for the other shit to come."

After GP promos, did you really find our practice useful?

Mind you, our passage is by no means an easy paper, and it really prepares you for the unexpected. After all, if Cambridge decides to screw the system and bring in a new type of comprehension like our sort, you also can't walk out of GP "A" levels and shout "I'M NOT DOING THIS SHIT ANYMORE", right?

Just grind your teeth and stick with it. Come on, it isn't that hard.

Remember to return to the passage what it has given to you. It's called 以牙还牙 in Chinese, basically giving back nonsense if the passage is nonsense.

Yup, so hope you liked the one-line paragraphs. Theoratically from the dictionary, a paragraph is a "section of a writing starting on a new line". Hence it doesn't even have to really be a complete sentence, but as being weird has its limits, we offer you sentergraphs, when extended known as sentence-paragraphs.

All right that's enough blabbering. Hope you did well for GP promos, though not well enough to push down my percentile points. I need 'em.

And best of luck for whatever is coming up next.

(Oh and for the record, YL and I aren't experts in buayaism. We're just being kinda idiotic because we were feeling bored that's it. You can ignore the shameless bragging and the self-awarded credentials in yesterday's post.)

Adopt the NDP today!

No, not your National Day Parade.

NDP = No Discussion Policy

After your exams, you must resolve not to discuss the questions AT ALL. This is because:

1) It's not very polite to those who think they didn't do well.
2) There's no point in it.
3) What's done is done and it has psychological bearings on you.
4) Psychology is strong, and it might affect your other exams.
5) Discussion provokes thought, which can be very strenuous.
6) After thinking for so long during the exam,
7) Are you sure you want to think some more?
8) It adds to your mental stress.
9) It is hazardous to your health.
10) And it's still inconsiderate to others who don't wish to discuss.
11) So there.

Any of you that comes up to me and asks me how the paper is like is not going to get any unexpected response. Simply because we all know that paper is paper, it's recyclable, it's in solid state, it's not edible, it's white in colour and it measures mostly 30cm by 20cm (from a source you might like to know as King Leong).

NDP will be on for the rest of the week.

At least for me. But you should adopt this too.

Copy and paste this on your blog if you approve of it and are a supporter of this wonderful movement. I guarantee your life during promos would be more fulfilling than if you engaged in silly meaningless discussions.

Cheers and good luck!

GP Practice Part 2

"This GP (General Paper) is definitely much friendlier than your local GP (General Practitioner) or your mathematical GP (Geometric Progression)."

Well, well, with such excellent questions, I'm guessing that we have no choice but to take the passages from very trustworthy and powerful sources. That is why today we have two great masters of the English language to write passages about the topic which you should have inferred by now from the questions!

Or actually, these texts were written long before the questions were formatted. Like duh. Anyway do read these classic masterpieces. If you wish to submit your work, write it all down on foolscap and then drop them at the TCS pigeonhole at the first floor of Block A into the waterpolo board. Yup it's as simple as that. Being efficient markers, we'd hand them back to you as soon as possible.

After all we do realise the urgency of it all. You do need to find out your standard before the GP promos so you can get inspired to work harder (if you suck) or to keep up the good work (if you're tyco).

Right, I will not hold you back from reading wonderful texts from two of the most intelligent, resourceful and not to mention humble writers ever born into the human race. Being fully qualified experts in the field, they would certainly know what cock they're talking about, or what crap they're typing about. Just read it. And do your compres in preparation for tomorrow.

We wish you the best of luck for GP promos =)

---

PASSAGE 1

Chan YL writes..
(Note we're not gonna spoil you by formatting it.
Count the bloody paragraphs yourself.)

1 B is for Big

2 U is for Ugly

3 A is for Asshole

4 Y is for You

5 A is for Are

6 Buaya stands for the big ugly asshole you are. Buaya.. is something I am not.



PASSAGE 2

Lim YJ writes..
1 Buayaism has plagued our lands for decades, ever since colonial Singapore was found by Sir Stamford Raffles in 1819, who incidentally set up Raffles Institution and have since had a whole string of places named after him. The swamps were found to be full of dangerous, hideous animals, and the indigenous Malays of our sunny island termed them "buayas".

2 Modern day buayas, however, exists in different states. (Though mostly solid.) From the kind that Steve Irwin used to hunt in Australia, there has been evolution in Man to match their DNA with the crocodilian species. Although biological evidence is much in want and the phylogenical links of homo sapien and crocodylidae is very much in doubt, the indigenous people of today have termed these humans "buayas".

3 The reason is not clear as to why such a classification is being made - but by default a "buaya" would mean a very flirtatious person with a decent amount of success. A flirt without any success is called a "despo", or in ruder but more precise terms, "fuck-up". The latter is rarely used in this context as it is currently being used for many other contexts, but the fact remains that to be a buaya you need at least a certain standard when it comes to qualifications.

4 What do buayas look out for? That really depends on the individual. Usually, the newly-inducted buayas will just look to gain more experience about the opposite gender and have some fun before levelling up to become a standard buaya, who basically toys with others' feelings and gains even more knowledge of their "friends" of the opposite sex. The final class of buaya is your ultimate Casanova who flirts like nobody's business and changes boyfriends or girlfriends as quickly as they can. Usually, their duration of having the same boyfriend or girlfriend is restricted to a week or less. Any exception is rare.

5 Nevertheless, it is often true that hardcore buayas are seldom respected by others. However, one cannot underestimate the power of hardcore buayas, for it is them who are the truly charming ones, exuding confidence wherever they go. It is also usually these sociable, lively people who make lives more interesting for the onlooker to watch. Emotional people are not recommended to play with buayas, for like the crocodylidae species, they can hurt one a lot. In this case, buayas will let the reality bite their counterparts.

6 Even though a balanced argument is in want and there are two sides to being a buaya, we must always remember that somehow animals are always on the brink of extinction and thus we should not take the buaya's existence for granted. One day they might just disappear off the face of earth, so it is important that we take a specimen today. Not that I feel they will disappear anytime soon, but the human-reptile hybrid of buaya is indeed a very fascinating topic to explore.

GP Practice Part 1

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All play and no work makes dull boys jacked."

As far as good comprehension skills are concerned, you are to read the questions before you read any passages. At TCS, we believe in law enforcement rather than letting you make choices because fools always make the wrong choices and we don't like taking chances in case there's a foolish reader out there who might still decide to read the passages first ANYWAY.

Hence, do have a look at the questions and you will get a rough idea of what the passages will be like when they are published tomorrow. This is good practice for your compre skills, and be thankful because we're providing these useful passages right before GP promos on Monday.

Any good result that you, the reader, want to dedicate to us will be warmly welcome. And even if you don't declare your good GP results, we at TCS will have no doubt that we have masterminded the GP improvement programme that has led readers countrywide (not only schoolwide, yea) to take vast steps in performing in GP. Without further ado, here are the questions.

---------------------------------------------



FROM PASSAGE 1
Paragraph 1
1) What is the author trying to say when he states "B is for Big"? [1]

Paragraph 2
2) Make an intelligent guess of who the author might be referring to (in this paragraph). [1]

Paragraphs 3-4
3) What writing technique does the author use in effectively emphasising the point that he does not fancy buayas? [2]

Paragraph 6
4) Explain, in your own words, the phrase "buaya.. is something I am not." [2]

Summary Question
Paragraphs 1-5
5) In no more than 120 words, give a brief summary of the author's views towards buayas, starting with the words (not included in the word count), "In recent years, buayas have been known to engage in.." You may only use information given in these paragraphs from this passage. [8]



FROM PASSAGE 2
Paragraph 1
6) Name a few more places that is named after Sir Thomas Stamford Bingley Raffles. [1]

Paragraph 2
7) Why does the author only use "buayas" in inverted commas at the end of the paragraph but not at the start of the paragraph where he talks about modern day buayas? [2]

Paragraph 4
8) Explain, in your own words, what the author means by stating that a newly-inducted buaya needs experience before levelling up. [2]

Paragraph 5-6
9) Why are buayas seldom respected by others? Answer with reference to your own experience with buayas. Additional marks will be awarded for interesting stories. [3]

10) Express the following words with a suitable word or phrase. [5]

From Passage 1
a. is (every paragraph)
b. asshole (paragraph 3)

From Passage 2
c. crocodylidae (paragraph 2)
d. fuck-up (paragraph 3)
e. in (paragraph 5)

Application Question
11) Based on what you have read from both authors' articles, which author's views do you find are more relevant to buayas in your society? You must relate it to the situation of buayaism in your country, with appropriate evidence and references. [8]

Content: 35
Language: 15
Total marks: 50

Nothing

I've run out of ideas to post today, so i shall post about nothing. Of course, that means that nothing is actually something. But these days, i really lack time to do nothing. Doing nothing is essential for everyone. It ensures that you will not burn out, and that is something you don't want. So in fact, in order to get something from your life, you have to do nothing. But doing nothing is something. Like now, when i say i shall post about nothing, i have actually posted something. But if you don't understand what i'm saying, it's ok because i've actually said nothing.

Holy shit there's 3 days left!!!

Here's a nice and gentle reminder that there's 3 DAYS REMAINING! Time sure flies. I still remember those days when i was shaking my leg and doing nothing in a carefree manner. Anyway it's never too late to study, at least that's what i always tell myself.

The great people say, in order to do something well, you have to have a passion for it. And i am sure passionate about my subjects. When i couldn't do a maths question, i cried. When i couldn't do a chem question, i cried too. Hopefully that means i can do both subjects well. Not that crying actually solved anything. It just wet the question paper so that it made it easier for me to tear it and then stomp on it. Although it made the paper harder to burn.

Burning paper leads me to think about the chinese tradition of burning stuff for the ancestors. So if i burn my assignment, will my ancestor get to do the assignment? After all, it might be boring where he is and some intellectual stimulation is needed.

Then what about incinerators? Are we giving heaps of rubbish to our ancestors? ok 3 days left. I love all my subjects. *Takes deep breath* Time to go.

Maths with loads of force

Differentiate the following with respect to x:

"But what if I have no respect for x?" - Anonymous

Whatever your subject combi may be, I'm pretty sure that it includes Maths. Even if you love the Arts so much, you find that you cannot escape Maths. Never heard of any Arts student just taking Chemistry as their contrasting subject. That's just plain dumb because 1) Chemistry sucks and 2) Maths is forceful.

How is it forceful?

- They force you to respect x.
- If you don't, you'd probably get 0 marks for the differentation question.

That's how forceful.

According to Physics, the SI unit of force is Newtons. And force x distance = work done.

If you want to get your work done for Maths, you'd have to force yourself to go the extra distance.

Thus, do not belittle the power of Maths. As mentioned yesterday that everything is interdisciplinary, we have come to the (force) field of Physics showing that Maths is indeed a subject with loads of force!

Further proofs:
(something which I won't usually read)

3 x 3! = 18

Note that students always get tricked by this. Because when you read it out, it's simply read "three times THREE!". As exclamation marks are signs of, well, exclamation, they have to be read out with conviction and force. Thus, a fool would just give the typical response that three multiplied by THREE! is nine. Which is of course, horribly wrong.

Since THREE! is much more forceful and hence bigger than three.

And as you let N! tend to infinity, the force becomes more powerful. I could draw a table to illustrate this, but it wouldn't help much as tables have four legs but nothing mathematical about that.

4 = 4
4! = 24

Thus, two multiplied by FOUR!! gives you forty-eight, not just eight.

Try this on your friends, guaranteed loads of them will be tricked.

My trick count is 5/5, let's see how many more will continue underestimating the force of Mathematics. It does not bide well for anyone to undermine the power of Mathematics, for honestly it will come back to own you. There's the Power Series and with all the forceful examples that I've forced on you above..

..Maths is indeed a subject with loads of force. (shit, how many times am I going to repeat this)

That's why they often use "n" to represent integers or real numbers - because N is the SI unit for force!

Education is important

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, you run the risk of him not understanding." - Anonymous

(Some questions the feasibility of how one single fish is enough to feed a fully-grown man for one full day. Especially since fish can be anything ranging from sardines to anchovies.)

Funny I seem to be getting so many anonymous quotes nowadays. Now I really wonder who I've been getting/hearing it from.

Nevertheless, the quote being about education, I shall talk a little about education in Singapore. Not that I'm an expert on the subject, it's just that talking cock knows no boundaries and I think MOE, despite their high barriers to entry (security is important), will still be subjected to my talking cock.

Oh and statistics (which arguably counts everything but proves nothing) show that around half the people in IMH - Institute of Mental Health just in case you n00bs were wondering - are teachers. What does that show?

That TEACHERS NOWADAYS ARE WEAK!

Can't even take that little bit of stress?!

Now, now, I am always a supporter of the underdog and you must realise that the student cannot be at fault all the times. Yes, sometimes we do cause teachers to run away (my Sec 3 Chinese teacher changed like 9-10 times, wth?), but teachers nowadays are also more sensitive. Notice how they can flare up and walk out of class because we make too much noise? Doubt any teacher in the past would do that.

Some teacher also complains that IP students in JC are a bad thing, because even the lousy ones also go up and thus they cause a lot of trouble in JC (ie by not understanding, that's considered trouble to those n00bs). Hello let's see.. maybe it's not us that wanted to be subjected to this programme?! And it's really for the good of our nation, for it's MOE approved, and MOE is "moulding the future of our nation".

Thus, I suggest to the teacher who says this, that before you open your mouth and complain that the IP is doing more harm than good by giving you more difficult students to teach, you think about where your pay is coming from and what a great job MOE is doing. (Yes they are okay!)

And stop bitching because as a teacher your job is to bloody teach students of all sorts. If all students are good, then students wouldn't be students but CLONES. And you wouldn't have a job because by then all of them would be able to mug by themselves. What you need to motivate you is the lousy students. The weak ones like us who score Us all the time and suddenly when they pop up with an A you claim the credit.

Conclusion?

TEACHERS NOW ARE WEAK.

Anyway as MOE has been emphasising on multi-disciplinary education, what with contrasting subjects and all, I decided to do something special for my Maths test as well.

Yup, I've decided to bring in the principles of Chemistry as well. Check out my script:


No kidding. I handed that in but the teacher even refused to look at it. Because if you read my previous post, that was meant to be bonus question.

RJ has a lot to learn from RI.

And both of them have a lot to learn from me, seriously they could just have combined Maths and Chem lessons, teach both in 1 hour and be done with it. And perhaps somehow incorporate Econs into it, saves even more time. And uh, better yet if they can put Physics and Biology all in at one shot. Then ULTIMATE.

1 hour a day, 5 hours a week. Or okay, give them some time for lectures and tutorials - 2 hours a day, 10 hours a week. Curriculum would be short and sweet, so we have more time for CCAs and more enriching stuff. The one subject that we all take would be called "General Paper". Like literally, because it's all the subject into one.

Trust me, it's possible, because I did it for tests and tests are supposed to be a, well, gauge of your understanding. I understand two subjects and hence I whack them both. Makes sense? Even if it doesn't, I still think JCs could consider the one-subject curriculum. Revolutionary I tell you. Even the planners of RP wouldn't think of advancing education in such an innovative manner.

Yup that's my contribution to education. Next time I should really join MOE's Curriculum Planning Division (CPD) or some crap like that, after all with a knack for talking cock and being an expert in building sandcastles (as well as castles in the air) at the school sandpit and at the classrooms respectively, I can MOULD THE FUTURE OF OUR NATION.

By leading by example.

For when I talk the cock, I walk it too.

I'm looking forward to more multi-disciplinary scripts for promos.

STUDY BREAK?!

Let's not speculate the "Anonymous" where this quote was from.

"I can't even understand the basic parts of Chemistry, much less the acidic parts." - Anonymous

Irony, irony, irony. RJC, from Wednesday to Friday, has very kindly declared a "study break" for all JC1 students to go mug for their Promos. That's ridiculous because the idea is totally presposterous. They need a clear definition - is it a studying period or a break? Don't give me "study break", unless you're talking about study THEN breakdown. Then that's an idea.

And oh, RJC practises double standards too. JC2s are not given any study break, and I wonder why. They have the September holidays which I assume is considered their study break, and hell the September holidays are, well, meant to be HOLIDAYS!! In case the school administration understands not the meaning of holidays, I think www.m-w.com should be on hand to help them out.

Yes go drop the school admin a feedback form with this on the back. We'll see if they know the true meaning of a holiday.

Now the thing is that I don't know if I should look forward to this study break. Because I know I am going to study (yes even WE have promos, we can't talk cock all the time, much as we'd like to) - and if the studying gets too tough, I might just break down. Uh, hence study b r e a k?

Well to be given three days on top of a weekend might seem somewhat of a bonus, but let me tell you why it isn't a good idea to have a study break just like that.

One, study break encourages slacking off. The fact that there's no school will give rise to some people thinking that there's no need to wake up early. And we all know the truth is that there IS no need to wake up early! Thus people will zzzz throughout the day (okay at least I will), and before they know it oops it's 1pm time to go school for the afternoon to salvage whatever shit I can and slowly, surely, we lose precious time. At least with school I'd wake up at seven. (Note: I stroll into school at 7:50pm, assembly's pointless)

Two, it's an excuse for security to leave side gate unlocked. This is going to cause great inconvenience for obvious reasons. Knowing that Elango and Co. are a lazy buncha bastards who only take pride in shouting "EH GET OUT OF THE POOL" or "EH BOY! COME HERE", they are just too lazy to open the side gate. Even if they are on bicycles. I tell you, that is seriously annoying. The school treats them too well, we should take away their silly bikes and get them to start walking about. After all, some of the guards do look like they could do with a diet and some loss of weight. Faguts.

Three, it takes away the romance of ponning classes. At least with schools and lectures, we get to have the excitement of ponning them all. The fun part in taking blue slip also is taken away when an official break is given. Even now as we move into a week before promos, we see muggers not coming to school because they are desperately trying to get their As at home. On the other hand, we have rebels/punks trying to salvage their promos mugging at home. Either way, I find that a more agreeable arrangement because school is more exciting with ponners and all. Giving a break is no kick. No kick at all.

Four, J2s need encouragement. Imagine those poor sods taking prelims and coming up with their faces all white, the least the school could do is to provide some comfort.. in letting them see J1s mugging till their faces are all white! If you haven't seen any J1s mugging until like that, come to the canteen and look out for me. I'd not only have a face as white as a sheet, but I will tug at my hair until I get the answer. Oftentimes, I will just give up. The J2s still need their encouragement, and entertainment.

Five, because some will not even come to school at all. Therefore no school spirit is fostered. At least if you have school, people will mug together after school and foster a sense of camaraderie (hate this bloody long word) and uh, class spirit or whatever. New friends might be made during mugging, especially if A asks B over to tutor C in Maths or some shit like that. Yup it happens. New bonds are forged. Having study break only means people are going solo and individual. Goodbye to esprit de corps. Now you can feel (sic) alone and fail alone.

Five points is surely enough to pass your GP essay. Of course, you'd have to include substantiation but I'm not going to bother here because if I put substantiation I might as well type forever until the study break comes. And no one really cares about mugging for GP by the way.

At least, I don't. The only GP you should mug is GEOMETRIC PROGRESSION.

And even so that is admittedly chicken feed. That's the only Maths topic I like because there's little to remember and when I mug (actually just read through) that topic there IS progression. So yay GP ftw I LIKE IT I LIKE IT I LIKE IT!

A little randomness before I go off.



Trying to do GP bonus question during Maths test. Unfortunately unlike the good old days in RI where they'd award you marks for being brave, they don't let you have bonus marks here unless you get 80% or above for the other section. Fagut RJ tutors, I ended up getting stuck and wrote a "wth" there which actually meant "wtf", but well, you must understand Maths tutors aren't exactly your Lit experts so..

..let's just go for our study break. =)

Of totally random unrelated things

Yet another quote. In response to previous day's quote..

"The best part of my History test is my teacher's handwriting." - Person only willing to be known as Pudge Boy (who doesn't take Chemistry)

And the woe from mugging continues. No style, no substance, all that is left is luck - ie if the teacher feels very sympathetic he/she might just give you a few marks for fun. Today's post shall be utterly random and picked from nowhere and nothing, because sometimes no topic is better than one topic. Having a focal point only drives you nuts because when you concentrate too much on something, you don't see the big picture.

Never mind if you don't understand that. My logic is sometimes no logic, if not all the time. We are humans and humans should be humanitised, not going by logic all the time. Hence, let us just follow our hearts and do as we please. Today I follow my heart and post what I want.

She bangs!
Despite the huge number of trees in Singapore, I don't understand why people still decide to bang into lamp posts. Now stop laughing, because this is true, people do walk into pillars and bang into lamp posts, I've noticed it before. (Even in school.) I suspect a possible reason would be that these post-bangers and pillar-walkers do not want to seem like tree-huggers. Reason is not accepted. I think if people would take more time to watch where they're going and not bury their heads in their books all the time, we could reduce such effective collisions (not of particles, but of humans.)

Library phenomena
Strange trends recently have led to RJC library being flooded with a load of people and the air has apparently got heavier in there. TCS's local resident in the library, who goes by the name of YL, still somehow frequents the place while another of TCS's member, namely myself, will just study in the canteen due to the convenience of uh, amenities. The stupid thing about RJC library is that it is located way up at the fourth floor, and when you don't use the lift at all, it can be quite an arduous journey moving up. Sources say that it is "pointless and screwed up" to go to the library because you'd really want to screw the idiot who did the building plan on your way up.

IMF/World Bank
The only connection that I see between these two is that the World Bank probably has dealings with banks all around the world.. and hence external forces at work, while IMF, being inter-molecular forces, also involves external forces with similar molecules. Of course, these two put together forms half of my H2 subjects, namely Chemistry and Econs. But anyway yup, there is little connection between them.

Integrated resort
I find the idea of an integrated resort very appealing, but what about a differentiated resort with shopping centres, swimming pools, casinos and all clearly defined? It would not be good to dive into the pool of an integrated resort and be told that they had just dived into the deep end at the casino. Integration means mixed. And mixed means confusion. Oh, and do think about what happens if you put a lawn (ln) in an integrated resort, when you try to take it out, it becomes one over something! And trust me, if you are trying to integrate any lawns into the resort, you'll find it a very daunting task. It's not anywhere in the building manuals for resorts, and neither is it in MF 15.

New Age Spam
Funny how you don't get much spam in your mail nowadays (or do you), but it's gone to the phone instead. I don't know why I'm getting Marie France Bodyline offers in MY phone, but all I know is that I do not need it. If they persist, I'm going to run right into their silly branch office right after my X-country training and ask for some treatment. I'd see if they dare spam me again.

Man Utd vs Arsenal; Chelsea vs Liverpool
The Big Four? Forget it, before these matches it was PORTSMOUTH that was owning everyone else. They lead the Premiership even though their team is crap and their manager is ugly. Zzz. And to think that despite yesterday's matches they ARE still leading. Haha all thanks to stupid Drogba who could beat Liverpool 1-0 but couldn't get four points for Chelsea, and thanks to Arsenal who had to beat Man Utd. (Seriously I don't mind though, because Man Utd sucks to the core I believe Portsmouth owns them.) Yup so it was quite a good night overall, because all the results went my way. Let's not talk about West Ham lalala.

Kind thoughts from someone
Okay believe it or not I really like this birthday gift. It sits on my table giving me inspiration to mug and well, tries to spur me (unsuccessfully) to violate club rules. By club I mean the NBA, and if you want a pictorial representation, here it is:

Yup thanks Paul for your gift haha.

All right there's enough nonsense for today. I understand sometimes I post too much about academic subjects, may this be a welcome break for you. After all, life is not all about studies, you must take some time off to go watch people bang into posts, wonder about integrated resorts, and uh, watch some soccer (MOST IMPORTANT!!).

Any extra time, just mug for promos/prelims. Economic concepts emphasise on opportunity cost, and being a lazy bum, I'd let you figure out which costs more.

I think I know Chem

Mugging quote for today:

"The best part of my Chemistry test is my handwriting." - Anonymous

And in case you haven't noticed by now, well uh, Anonymous is actually me. You couldn't really fault me for that quote, it might sound a bit egoistic but it's true. I go for style rather for substance. Or should I say I don't really have a choice.

I should. Because that's the truth. I can't make my handwriting worse nor can I make my Chemistry knowledge better. So as a result of this failure and extreme boredom, I decided to listen to retarded songs.

"I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family in 1970 fully qualifies as one of them. It's so bloody retarded and cowardly that you'd have to really marvel at how idiotic some people can get. Seriously, even "My Humps" might make more sense than this.

..okay maybe not. Modern trash is not really music, as I've probably said many times before. It's noise. It's trash. It's nothing to do with Chemistry.

You can try this site, it's complete with lyrics and music and whatnot.
I think I love you

After you're done being hit with the realisation that this song makes no sense whatsoever and is just someone in self-denial that he likes someone else (which seems vaguely familiar, I know not why), you sing the Chemistry version, which is basically good for a clueless person like me who is in self-denial that he is good in Chemistry. Presenting to you, "I Think I Know Chem", sung by Chemistry failures of the modern era, 2006.

I Think I Know Chem
(Dedicated to all those around the world who failed Chem, and better yet have a U.)

I'm mugging, and right in the middle of those alkenes
Then all at once I screw up, by using hydrogen to dehydrate
I am going insane, these Chem tutorials that I hate
Iodoform and zinc sulphate, Br₂ in liquid state
“I THINK I KNOW CHEM” (I think I know Chem!)

This morning, I tried some oxidising;
I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
Take those alcohols and screw it;
I would just loudly proclaim“I THINK I KNOW CHEM”
(I think I know Chem!)

I think I know Chem, so what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, reactions for the phenol
I think I know Chem, isn't that what life is made of?
Doesn’t worry me to say, Top Twenty’s coming my way

I don't know what I'm reducing,
I don't know what Chem’s all about
I've got so much to think about

Hey! I think I know Chem! So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, reactions for the phenol
I think I know Chem, isn't that what life is made of?
Doesn’t worry me to say, Top Twenty’s coming my way

Believe me, you really don't have to worry
My tutorials might be scrappy, but stuff like Tollens’ Reagent I know
KMnO₄ with O, the reaction’s really slow
Do you think I have a case, let me ask you to your face
Can I get Top Twenty?

“I THINK I KNOW CHEM” (I think I know Chem!) – x3

I love Chemistry. It gets much <3 from me.